Take it easy. Be gentle. I know it all feels urgent, but you don’t really have to do it all at once.
You already know exactly what you need. Trust yourself a little more. You haven’t got anything to lose in this.
The things that feel painful now won’t feel that way forever. Don’t feed them too much.
Treasure the things you have now that are beautiful, because you won’t have them forever either. But energy fed into pain gets lost except where it is transformed into growth. Energy fed into joy is multiplied.
It’s hard to know what really matters. Some things that are apparently insignificant end up giving you great joy, and some things that seem world-changing turn out not to matter very much. Accept this a bit more, not as a mark of powerlessness, but as an opportunity for unsought delight.