It turns out that I am really, really strong.
This year, I made one of those choices that made my lizard brain scream “you’re going to diiiiiiiiiie! nooooooo! don’t doooooooooo it!”
I waited until I was good and ready, and it felt like hell, and it was the right choice.
I’ve spent a lot of time in my life circling around difficulties, being afraid to even approach them out of worry about exactly how difficult they might turn out to be and fear that they would lead me down into a hole as deep as the most challenging experiences of my life so far. It turns out that even holes that look really deep from the top aren’t always so bad, though, and that I’m better at getting myself out of them than I acknowledge sometimes.
So next year, I’m going to remind myself, as Anais Nin said, that sometimes the risk to remain tight in the bud is greater than the risk to blossom.