Yes we can, the inside edition

We’ve talked a lot about different ways to listen, to try to pick your own wise voice out of the crowd of other things clamoring for our attention.

If the world were a perfectly lovely place, being able to hear that voice would be enough to enable us to move towards it. But [...]

Some reasons it's hard to let go of anger

Anger shields us from pain. As long as anger is predominant in our feelings, sadness and hurt and everything else have to sneak in around the edges. Sometimes, staying angry feels easier or less scary than facing our full emotional reaction, even when the events in question are long past and we’re safe [...]

Will

When I was in my early twenties, I thought of will as mostly meaning willpower: the drive to push myself to get through it, get things done, whatever it took.

In a way I now find entirely predictable, this didn’t work out so well. It turned out to be unsustainable because I based [...]

Goals and me

I don’t really like the word “goal.” It makes me think of pressure and achievement and power ties and childhood soccer games in the rain. I do like the words desire and intention, which make me think of the positive kind of wanting and hope and trust and competence.

Although I sometimes wish it [...]

The Trouble with Tribbles

This happens to all of us:
Something happens. It’s not something fun, and we’re hurt or upset. Or we’re stuck resisting something that seems like an obviously good idea on the surface.

And just when we’d like to be dealing with what’s happening in the moment, some not-so-helpful corner of your brain pipes up with [...]

What's the one thing?

I’ve been working a lot with this question lately: what’s the one thing I can do that would most improve my life right now?

This question has a bunch of important parts.

It’s only about one thing. It is usually true that there are lots of things you could do that would make your [...]

Stories

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

As you have probably guessed, rewriting stories is something I’m a big fan of. I started off my young adulthood with a story about how no one loved or supported me, which led me into some pretty [...]

Gift

This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

This year’s most memorable gift is clarity: my own clarity about both myself and others, and the clarity and compassion with which others have been able to see me.

But my new fancy-pants bathrobe is [...]

Defining moment

Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

Quite possibly the single most defining moment of 2010 for me was the one where I knew that my longstanding relationship was finally over. It cascaded into a series of events wherein I gained a clearer sense of who I [...]

Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

The thing I most want to be [...]