When I was in my early twenties, I thought of will as mostly meaning willpower: the drive to push myself to get through it, get things done, whatever it took.

In a way I now find entirely predictable, this didn’t work out so well. It turned out to be unsustainable because I based [...]

Goals and me

I don’t really like the word “goal.” It makes me think of pressure and achievement and power ties and childhood soccer games in the rain. I do like the words desire and intention, which make me think of the positive kind of wanting and hope and trust and competence.

Although I sometimes wish it [...]

Questioning desire

I’ve talked about the virtues of habit, the ways that we can use habit and routine to continually recreate the kind of life we want to have. In the same way, though, habits can consistently drag us back into thoughts, stories, and patterns that don’t serve us or support our desires. When we [...]


What do you want?

It’s easy for this to be a big question, isn’t it? What do I want from my life? Who do I want to be? Even thinking about these questions can feel overwhelming or exhausting. So let me suggest that we start a little smaller: what do [...]